I'm tired. I am really tired. oh. Have you ever thought if the parallel universe really exist, and your other self in the other universe made a different choices than what you have made, will she truly be happy? or happiness is just a word, a temporal state of mind, and we need to work really hard to keep being in that state? oh. Allah has made plans for me that I can't comprehend now, but I have faith that ALLAH is the greatest planner and ALLAH knows what's best for me. Just swallow everything in and stand up tall.
I am in my 5th year in the industry and looking back, I am definitely not where I pictured myself to be in, I am way behind. Running out of breath catching everybody up, I feel like quitting and spent my whole time with what matter most, but what's frustrating is that I can't. I'm not afraid to do so, far from it, but that will never be an option. I don't know how the others have the strength to wade through this horrible terrible storm, it keeps pulling me back. Everybody else makes it look like running through the meadow in Spring.
I need a support system, my back starting to ache, spine is porous and who knows it will break and that's the end of me. must be strong for the kids. must. stay. strong!