Wednesday, June 19, 2013

hari abah!

cite pasal father's day ni sensitip sikit, ada pendapat cakap tak boleh sambut, sebab father's day was founded by some christianity thing, so is Mother's day, and people keep on saying, ala tetiap hari pun hari mak hari bapak, mai nak habaq mai sikit, let's get back to basic, kenapa sebenarnye kita dok celebrate father's day or mother's day? for me, just to say THANK YOU and to let them know you appreciate what they have done. tuh je. bukan nye ada ritual ke apa. and yes tetiap hari pun boleh. tapi during father's day/mother's day banyak saleee. haha. then banyak tempat makan buat promo kan. so untung kamu disitu tak payah bayar full retail price. so why not? Lagi satu, sometimes you are too busy to even bother to do some cute artsy fartsy romantic thing when you just to deep into everyday chores/work/stress/kids. kan? sebenarnye these thing mcm breaks you from taking things from granted. paham dak makcik merepek? so you don't even have to mentioned happy father's day! you just say "thank you for being an awesome dad!".

aku sebenarnye tulis nak bagitau apa kitorg buat for this year father's day. aku ni takat dah bertambah sorang lagi anak, have no time on my own, seriously! ok la apart from friday afternoon sebab we can go off earlier on Friday around 3pm. so I browse Pinterest for something that I can do to surprise him that I can "conjure" up in few mins. betulllll.. masa lain sure anak-anak I ada, even malam pun, kalau I nak work with US counterparts, laptop atas katil, anak kiri kanan ok? dah depa tersedar ja carik mama. *konon konon aku rimas tapi sebenarnya sukaaaaaaa*. 

dah la tuh citenye aku lupaaa gilaaa bila father's day, then aku training seminggu sampai jumaat, dan dan eh Father's day Sunday ni eh? haa kalut kalut. aku ada 2 plan, mula mula ingat nak print fridge magnet of the kids with their abah from our Instagram account, ada a few places in malaysia that offer this service, online pun ada, tapi mak dah terlambat, maka we do the old fashion way, pi print gambaq, then beli magnetic tape RM5 dekat Daiso. nak pi print la, then tiba-tiba mamat kedai gambar tuh ckp, "kak, ip5 kami tak bleh print la, takde lightning cable". dang aku pon bodoh tak buat research dulu.

maka scrap la idea fridge magnets. so next idea is, guilt-free coupons! yeehaw.. idea paling senang tapi meaningful gila. aku browse punye la cantik coupons depa buat, design bagai, aku mana nak cekau photoshop nyah? desktop rumah dalam study room dia, printer pon sama, takkan la aku sengih-sengih gi print depan dia kan? 

So I grab a card, a few cute tiny envelopes. nah result nya. hahaha. abaikan tulisan mak cakar cakar musang gitu. see even proper pen pon tadak. hahaha propa gilaa.

kepada sapa-sapa yang nak show appreciation to someone, simple gift idea for father's day,  tapi ada masa dalam 20 minit je, boleh la try buat ni. for the guilt-free coupons idea boleh la google and pilih the one that suited you the most. cost below RM10. Kad tuh cost me around RM4.50, and the envelopes RM 3.50. RM8 la kesemuanya. lagi murah dari aku beli kad father's day hallmark yang rege nye dekat RM20 semua. aaa itu semua melampau.

He loves it sooooo much! dia punya happy kalah aku belikan kindle. melampaukan? tapi puas hati gilaaaaaaaaaaaaa lah aku.  :)


Monday, May 27, 2013

anas says the darndest thing #1

anas sejak dia dah petah cakap ni, cakap gaya nak macam orang tua. tensen mak. so im writing down all of the epic conversation that we had. padan muka dia nanti besar. haahaha :p

dia tgh main masak-masak with his stove. and he came to the kitchen pointing at the utensils.

anas: mama nak tu
aku: yang mana?
anas: yang masak masak tu
aku: semua pon masak-masak jugak (dah dekat dapur kot)
anas: ala yang macam ni (sambil buat gaya goreng-goreng) tu
aku: ooo senduk ke? (sambil tunjuk senduk)
anas: haaa pandai pun mama. senduk laaaa.
aku: *facepalm*

ni sesi meeting adik beradik. sesi berebut toys. tapi bes jugak anak dekat2 ni, tapayah mak bazir beli toy lagi, handsmedown banyakkkkkk. lol

Saturday, March 16, 2013

random #1

I'm tired. I am really tired. oh. Have you ever thought if the parallel universe really exist, and your other self in the other universe made a different choices than what you have made, will she truly be happy? or happiness is just a word, a temporal state of mind, and we need to work really hard to keep being in that state? oh. Allah has made plans for me that I can't comprehend now, but I have faith that ALLAH is the greatest planner and ALLAH knows what's best for me. Just swallow everything in and stand up tall.

I am in my 5th year in the industry and looking back, I am definitely not where I pictured myself to be in, I am way behind. Running out of breath catching everybody up, I feel like quitting and spent my whole time with what matter most, but what's frustrating is that I can't. I'm not afraid to do so, far from it, but that will never be an option. I don't know how the others have the strength to wade through this horrible terrible storm, it keeps pulling me back. Everybody else makes it look like running through the meadow in Spring.

I need a support system, my back starting to ache, spine is porous and who knows it will break and that's the end of me. must be strong for the kids. must. stay. strong!

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Pearl Maternity Hospital Review

ok here goes. the long overdue review.

the room
  • Saya amik single room package. more privacy and easier access to the toilet. summary I would give a 4/5
  • it's a very basic room la, ada hospital bed, a tv, a bedside drawer, and couple of kayu jati chairs and side table. Toilet dia equipped with hot shower semua. Dan benda paling aku suka is the toilet dia ada rail, supaya makcik makcik buyung macam kami kami ini boleh pegang kat situ nak bangun. susah woiii nak bangun once dah nk beranak ni. Dia bagi toiletries so no worries if tak bawak toiletries. Just tadak towel je. 
  • cleanliness wise. 5/5. Dr Rosita sangat jaga bilik hospital dia. everything mesti in order and bersih. Toilet semua bergermerlapan ok. 
  • downside is tak ada kettle. ok fine Pantai pun tadak kettle jugak. safety issue kan? tapi ni memang tak ada access to hot water langsung. macam Pantai dia ada those water machines kan. at least something la. Tapi you can ask from the nurses for hot water and drinking water. leceh jer la sikit kot.
  • the food. Food is NOT included in the package, they will charge you extra for that. the food is good tapi a bit spensy. And they will take the order early in the morning, so if you come in late, no food for you, then you have to tapau your food la. I recommend to tapau your own food. better. they allow it pun. 

The Staff
  • Nurses are very friendly. respected me. When I said I'm having contraction so please wait before doing a  vaginal exam (VE) and they honor my request. Dan VE mereka sangat lembut. Most of them muda muda lagi, so mungkin itu menjadi faktor jugak.
  • Aku suka the midwife, ya ALLAH lupa dah nama. They are pro natural birth, they encourage people NOT to use epidural, what to expect (benda ni sangat penting for first time mama), she tells me upfront what she wants to do, what they will do in case of meconium leaking, stall of dilation and etc. And she respects my decision when I said I don't want them to break my waterbag. 
  • Just be aware that this is a maternity hospital not a full fledged one, so do expect shortage of staff, which is fine by me, because I don't need much attention. When I was about to give birth, there is only 1 attending nurse, sebab the other 3 are attending the c-sect patient together with the doctor.
  • What I like the most is, they leave me alone during stage 1 labor. no IV whatsoever, they just take baby's heartbeat reading for 1/2 an hour after induction, and satisfied with the result, lepas tuh they never disturb me. I like that so I can have some private time with my husband. that eases the labor significantly sebab I'm very much at ease with the environment.
  • They allow you to dim the lights, heck they allow us to do whatever we want. So we very much feel at home there. makan. minum. tengok how i met your mother on lappy. I was squatting, sitting, on all 4, leaning to the wall, macam-macam position nak cepatkan dilation. They never seems to bother.

The Doctor
  • Dr Rosita is one of Penang's best obgyn. Famous sangat doktor ni. I chose her sebab my sister in law penah beranak dengan dia. She's a woman and a muslim. fits my requirement. I just not comfortable having a male doctor staring at my vagina. just no. 
  • Dia ni kalau korang tak biasa dengan dia, erm dia ni kuat membebel sikit, aku tak kesah, sebab mak aku dan my sisters memang kaki membebel. So whatever that she said I never take it to the heart. rasa macam mak mak je sebab I'm still young kot and I'm not orang yang berangin. Some people tak suka sikit. So up to you la.
  •  She doesnt support full gentle birth ie, kalau dilation stall for a long time, dia akan c-sect sebab takut baby lemas, kalau leak meconium dia akan c-sect. I never ask about delay cord clamping dengan natural placenta birth, takut kena marah. LOL. no, the real reason is, there is a case, sorang minah ni mintak natural birth of placenta meaning taknak amik drug to cepat keluarkan uri, then dah half an hour tak keluar jugak uri dia, tapi this is normal, ada orang sampai sejam baru keluar, akan tetapi doktor dia tak biasa so dia takut uri tu lekat (there is a term for this aku lupa), so they cut her up utk keluarkan plasenta. fobia weh takut jadi begini. Tapi bagi aku I dont mind about the plasenta sebab baby dah keluar. You can jab me with anything, I dont mind. So both of those are not in my birth plan pun.
  • She respected my birth plan, I go through my birth plan with her, tapi birth plan saya simple jer, saya tak nak epidural, saya tak nak kena kacau dgn that hearbeat monitor machine, saya tak nak IV, saya tak nak orang pecahkan ketuban saya, saya nak a natural birth. She said ok. I respect your decision. Tapi you have to rephrase the way you said it la. the way I said it very the anak anak cakap to the mama. with all the respect in the world. 
  • I tak sempat nak cakap that I dont want a episiotomy, entah it somehow slips my mind, tapi she is an expert, I tak perasan pun bila dia gunting, I guess I perasan tapi just tak rasa apa-apa, cepat sangat dia buat, dia gunting when I'm having contraction to push, so memang tak rasa apa-apa sebab at that time the vagina is numb, Subhanallah. And dia sangat expert when sambut the baby, she doesnt shout "PUSH" nehiiii.. she just said "push when you're ready", and she just keep quiet and said "ok the kepala is out, it's ok, oh here comes the whole body". I dont think they do the suction, sebab Fatimah terus nangis when keluar. she cut the cord, pass the baby to the nurse. bersihkan darah tertumpah (i told you dia sangat pembersih!) sementara menanti my placenta to come out. and it was 1 in the morning mind you. LOL.
  • the stitches are top notch. since aku berpantang sorang sorang kan,  memerlukan pergerakan yang lebih, tapi Alhamdulillah tak ada apa-apa. Tak pedih langsung. dulu with the first pregnancy, pedih bila benang nk putus tuh kan. ni memang tak rasa apa-apa. Bila benang dissolve pun tak perasan. 

  • support rooming in.
  • You have to ask to breastfeed your baby right after birth. because the don't do that by default. But they will honor your request if you ask. 
  • Dia tak sunatkan anak perempuan terus. Boleh tanya doktor kalau nak. Which aku pun tak tahu anak perempuan kena sunat (LOL). so aku tak sunatkan la Fatimah. 

  • My bills was around 2.6k for a 3 days 2 nights single room vaginal birth with about RM100++ charge for some pain relieve medication. Eventhough I stay for only 1 night, sebab risaukan Anas, I still have to pay for the whole package. I don't mind. 

the disses:
  • tali pusat anak aku dia potong pendek sangat. susah nak jaga. asyik tertarik jer. menangis la budak tuh. kesian sangat. So bagi tahu diorang jangan potong pendek sangat.

It's a good hospital. the most important thing in labor is dont panic, be happy, surround yourself with positive people, be firm that you only want natural birth, don't think of negative thing, Insya ALLAH everything will be ok. I recommend this hospital for those who has low to no risk pregnancy. For those with risk, go to full fledged hospital, she does c-sect tapi entah I feel it is a lot safer with full fledged hospital where they have all kinds of doctors and machines, you know, just in case.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

my second birth story

ok here goes. I got a lot of bloody stains in my 3rd trimester.  More frequent towards the end. So aku expect baby akan keluar awal. Lagi pun, my first born keluar 2 weeks earlier. So expectation aku around Week 38/39 should come out d la. Akan tetapi, itu tidak terjadi sama sekali. yeah kan aku dah bagitau sesiap, budak ni she's a strong willed lady. She will come out whenever she wants, bloody stains or not.

Went for my final checkup at week 39, sarat nya penguin pun tak tahan gelak tengok aku jalan. budak dah dok bawah tahap dah. memang betul2 dekat jalan dah. tunggu jalan terbukak jer. then my doctor said, ok then if tak keluar jugak, i'll be seeing you on the EDD la which is 20/10/2012, we will induce, takut nnt overdue baby berak and lemas pulak kat dalam. woahh aku macam lek la puan doktor, kita bawak berbincang dulu. setahu saya overdue is Week42+. I baru nk masuk week40. and my baby is ok, no foetal distress apa-apa. aku cukup tak suka orang intervene benda lumrah ni. people has been giving birth since the beginning of time, my mama gave birth to 3 of my siblings at home, and she survived! I'm  not categorized as high risk, i'm a low risk mama, memang everything ok. yang puan doktor nak induce kenapa puan doktor? biar la my baby keluar on her own term. tapi the thing is, my husband bila dengar "nanti baby berak (leaked meconium), baby lemas, kene csect nanti" dahhh dia pun cuak.

aduh. Then I was like I'm good, I'm carrying her and I know that my baby is healthy and happy. and I'm healthy and happy. Apehal pulak korang nak cuak kan? then aku ckp kat doktor, tengok la dulu macam mana I'll go back and think and get back to you. Concern aku jugak ialah 20/10 tuh sabtu, mak Anas Imran cuti la kan weekend, aku segan la nak hantar dia rumah mak dia, sebab nya kalau aku induce on Sabtu, sure ptg/mlm tuh beranak, then kena stay another night which is Sunday night then Monday baru blk. So Anas akan duduk dengan mak dia over the weekend. kesian la dekat mak dia. it's supposed to be her day off. So I told DH, if tak keluar jugak by Monday kita induce. He la yang takut kalau ikut kan hati aku, tunggu jer la sampai baby keluar sendiri. Week 43 pon week 43 laa. Allah never makes mistake. Kalau itu Ketentuan Dia, then that is the best. Tapi ye la dah tertulis budak tu keluar by induction, then who are we to say otherwise.

So came Monday, no sign of labor pon. LOL. I took my own sweet time pagi tu siap-siap. mandi, scrub bagai, shampooed. Then hantar Anas Imran ke rumah mak dia, and pesan kat dia that tonight he has to sleep with mak, mama going to give birth to adik. macam la budak tu paham. then siap gi makan Kayu Nasi Kandar. dekat kol 11 baru gerak gi hospital. Siap akak Pearl Maternity call lagi, awak ni jadi tak nak induce hari ni? LOLed.

oh we come prepared. Siap dengan laptop, ipad, milo, biskut and chocolate. haha. need to make it as comfy as possible. we took the single room package, privacy sikit. After registration, masuk bilik. kecik jer the bilik tapi ok la. the toilet lengkap with toiletries and all. got TV. tapi takde kettle! Aku tak sukaaaa bilik hospital ka bilik hotel ka rumah tumpangan ka yang tadak kettle. I cannot live without hot water. macam mana nak buat air panas cicah biskut sambil tengok TV series kan?

After that we go and check baby heartbeat using the CTG la, everything ok, check jalan baru 1cm. Then dia masukkan ubat induce. Then suh aku balik bilik for an hour later check jalan balik. Aku blk bilik layan how i met your mother dengan DH. siap gelak bagai. yes! kene happy happy and have fun. kalau stress baby pun stress. Sian dia. After 1 hour go and check jln baru 3cm I think.

masa midwife tu check jalan, dia cakap la, kita kena pecahkan ketuban, cepat sikit baby keluar, I was like what? no! I want it to be all natural this time. no more intervention! dia pun bukak la cerita "baby berak later makan the meconium, bahaya lemas yada yada story" I tetap with my decision jangan pecahkan ketuban saya biar dia pecah sendiri. the thing is kalau ada meconium even a tad bit, mau dia c-sect aku. no way Jose!
Elok jer masa dia check jalan, aku rasa dia nak pecahkan ketuban, dan dan aku angkat bontot tak bagi. memang tak boleh la pecah la. dia pun gelak-gelak cakap tuh la saya ingat nak pecah ketuban awk tadi tapi tak dapat. hahaha ko ingat ketuban aku cikai-cikai? bullet proof ok? it will rapture on its own. tak payah nak tolong. let nature take its course.

We continued watching HIMYM la dari pukul 1 smp la pukul 5 I think. Tapi the contraction starts to really annoys me at 5pm la. the thing about induction contraction is, it has 2 peaks, so bila the first peak comes then the next peak come, dia macam double tap,  then the interval is very short, and penat for you to jaga your breathing. Dah la I tak makan lunch, ceritanya we thought at Pearl Maternity Hospital they will provide lunch like normal hospital, the thing is they don't. They do provide but you have to order in the morning. Mana I tau. So I ask my husband to tapau la. I want nasik, but my husband ni bangsa tak reti nak tapau nasik, kalau mintak tapau nasik jer sah sah dia tapau ayam goreng dgn sayur togeh. dah la aku anti togeh. Dia memang tak reti gila gila pasal domestic stuff ni. aku pun tak paham kenapa. So aku macam ok la nak Samurai Burger Double! haa hamik. ada hati nak makan samurai burger tengah-tengah nak labor.

So bila tengah contraction tu nak makan burger bagai memang tak larat laaa. udah la Pearl tadak kettle/boiler dlm bilik. Nak buat milo pun susah. Nasib baik la my husband paksa rela gi mintak air panas, boleh la minum milo. By 5.30pm, I cannot tengok dah HIMYM,  tetiba jer Asmaul-Husna keeps on looping in my head, and it soothes and calms me. macam magik. So I ask DH to play that in a loop. Then aku cakap aku lapar, my husband bagi la roti, aku makan tapi tak boleh telan, terus terasa mual nak muntah. Aku ckp kat DH, nak muntah, tapi dia ni bangsa tak dengar kalau orang ckp pelan pelan, so the next thing he knows, aku dah dlm toilet puking my guts out. tekejot la pakcik tuh. terus tekan loceng merah. emergency button tuh. aku macam apehal ko pegi tekan? lek ah muntah jer kot. udah ramai pulak la attend aku tgh muntah. malu oi.

Midwife then check jalan, 4cm. Aku macam 6cm to go? Then the midwife tuh tanya, dia kata nak painkiller tak? don't expect it to be like an epidural, sebab this is just a pain medication, and it will only take affect for 4hours. You will still feel the contraction tapi mild. At that time memang all my gentle birth stuff go down the drain. Aku angguk ja. seriously induction punye contraction len weh. So they injected me with the drugs at the bontot at around 6pm. after that kurang la the contraction and I manage to doze of until around 10pm ish.

The contraction starts to pick up again, nurse datang check jalan, baru 5 cm, tapi tak fully effaced lagi. The Asmaul Husna memang sangat amat membantu aku calm down, and the breathing technique sangat amat membantu in handling contraction. memang betul once tarik nafas dalam dalam suddenly the contraction macam pecah pecah. position aku bagai bagai, dari baring, squat down, down on all 4, sit down, half squat, you name it, I did it.

Bila around 11.30pm, contraction sangat intense, dia tak sakit macam pedih tau, dia sakit yang macam period pain, muscle contraction, aku tak boleh handle sakit yang jenis pedih. The contraction was so intense aku memang mengucap ja sambil swaying my hips kekiri dan kekanan. it worked wonders. Tapi kuat la aku mengucap satu spital dgr kot. Kol 12, my MIL sampai, dia datang nk tgk, masa tu aku tahap tak ada orang pun boleh pegang aku, sebab aku nak fokus on breathing, nehiiiii to all, laki aku pun tak leh pegang. Dia tengok aku dah macam itu rupanya dia dok kejap jer pastuh terus balik.

Then extraordinary thing is, after that, there was a long interval, dlm 5 minit, without any contraction, aku dalam hati "Alhamdulillah". rupanya it was the interval before going to second stage of labor, the pushing part. then the contraction jadi lain, bukan sakit period dah, dia sakit memulas nak teran, mula mula aku tahan, then mintak my husband push the emergency button, mai la nurse ni.. sorang ja, dia nak VE, so dia pegang perut aku nak check for contraction, aku kan masa tu memang pantang orang pegang perut, aku cakap la "tolong jangan pegang kak, tgh contraction, nnt dah abes contraction saya bagitau" sopan haaa walopon sakit nak beranak. cet. Dia boleh jawab "cakap saya sorang ni dekat level ni, semua orang lain dalam operation theatre nak c-sect sorang patient lagi. awk kena dgr ckp saya, saya tak boleh buat keje kalau awk tak bagi saya pegang awk."  WTH? masa tu aku mcm tekejot dan dan terus tak dapat nak tahan the urge to teran.. dia dah ckp dah jgn teran lagi,, tahan tahan.. dah kamu jawab macam tu.. ada hati aku nak tahan? terus I push as hard as I can. LOL. terus ketuban pecah.

Then the nurse macam, laa kan dah ckp jgn teran, dia pun buat VE, masuk jari sket ja dah rasa kepala baby.. haha. cuwakkk laaa dia.. terus tekan emergency button, dia nk bawak nek labor room la, it was a chaos at this point. aku macam "eh sorry, tak tahan tadi nak teran, terus teran, sorry pecah ketuban" apa hal la dgn aku? hahaha. then dia suh bangun la dari katil, kalut la dia pi amik wheelchair, dan dan masa aku turun katil nak duduk atas wheelchair, strong urge to push came, aku macam nakkk jer beranak kat situ, sebab I already feel the head crowning, no burning sensation for me, just rasa the baby head dekat my vagina.

aku dah kalut dah, macam mana nak duduk, kang terpeleot kepala anak aku, then aku ckp kat nurse i want to give birth here, then dia pun kalut dah dia sorang sorang, dia dok cakap, tahan jangan teran, nanti baby jatuh, awk dah mengandung 9 bulan sia sia je. takpe boleh duduk lagi. LOL. aku dah menjerit jerit dah ckp baby dah nk keluar, rasa dah kepala dia, then dia tolak jugak suh aku duduk. aku macam taknak! hahaha. funny scene bila ingat balik. tengah-tengah aksi menjerit jerit tu, doktor Rosita mai dgn nurses lain. dengar suara dia jer terus contraction stop. hahahaha. takut woah dia membebel. baru la aku boleh duduk. dah la wheelchair tu pulak buat hal, tempat letak kaki belah kiri rosak pulak.. so aku masa tu memang tak larat nak angkat kaki pun, blur nya aku ni boleh gi tanya my husband, bang cane dgn kaki lagi satu ni? dia la gi angkat kaki kiri letak dekat kaki kanan. then masa nek lift semua macam tak ada apa-apa.. tak sakit tak apa.. sebab interval between contraction kan.. sampai dekat labor room pun aku boleh naik katil macam tak ada apa-apa.

dah terkangkang depan doktor Rosita, dia dah pakai glove bagai, dia tgh aku, aku tgk dia, dia cakap "dah jangan cakap awak taknak beranak lagi, tadi menjerit bagai, saya ada patient dah under anes tuh nak c-sect" terus lebam muka malu. tahu malu menjerit tadi tak malu pulak. haha. then immediately after dia cakap tu, terus contraction mai, aku terus push, nurse tuh punya la suh breathe the baby out, like what I read in the gentle birthing group, J breathing, dah tak pikir dah masa tu, I just want the baby out. I push macam kena sembelit, tapi I didnt make any sound at all masa push tu, exactly macam I push masa sembelit. 2 kali push terus keluar the kepala, then the contraction stop for a while, jap ja like 5 seconds, for the baby to re align the shoulder kan, MasyaALLAH macam mana entah the baby and my body boleh sync up,  then the second wave of contraction comes, with one push terus keluar the whole body. the feeling was amazing! masa the whole badan keluar tuh sgt surreal.

time of birth is 12.50am. Alhamdulillah sangat sebab it was an easy labor. masa the badan keluar, I knew that the baby sure under 3kg. sebab masa Anas keluar, ya ALLAH, rasa macam benda super besar keluar dari vagina. Tapi this one, dengan senang nya dia slide keluar. Then the usual thing la, the baby cried a bit only, the doktor cut the cord, then the nurse letak dekat the tempat panas tuh for inspection. then masa tuh dia nangis. Time ni aku kecik ati sikit la, sebab with Anas once the baby is out, the doctor terus letak baby atas perut aku, the first thing that Anas saw was me, and the familiarity of my body, dia rasa safe, dia senyap jer, terkelip kelip tgk mama dia. then only doktor cut the cord while he was on my tummy. bila placenta dah keluar baru la nurse angkat pi wat inspection.

Tapi yang kali ni, the nurse buat inspection dulu, then tinggal dia dekat situ, to get something, while dia nangis, aku cakap la takpe baby, mama's here, no worries. baru dia senyap sikit. She just came out to the real world, she needs some familiarity for her to feel safe. tuh la aku ralat sikit. aku cakap aku nk pegang baby, tapi the doctor said, later you will have the chance to hold your baby, sebelum tuh let the nurse potong tali pusat and buat apa yg patut dulu. sangat ralat ok!

After the placenta keluar and then the doctor stitch me up, tak banyak sgt the tear, tapi one thing with doktor Rosita is, the stitches are top notch. sangat kemas! and cepat sangat dia buat. Tapi aku kena marah byk kali la sebab aku angkat bontot. hahaha. geli laaa.. bila dah settle semua, the nurse suh aku balik bilik la, while dia settle kan the baby vax and all, aku cakap la kak saya nak pegang baby saya dulu laki saya nk azan nk iqamat dulu. ape daaa. aku sempat pegang and cium and husband sempat azan and qamat tapi aku tak sempat nak breastfeed her in the first hour. another ralat from me. sangat ralat.

Aku balik bilik, still high from the excitement, around 3am baru la nurse roll in my baby for some rooming in time. yup Pearl Maternity allow rooming in, maksudnya the baby boleh sleep with you. to ease breastfeeding.
I tried breastfeed her tapi you know how colostrum is, tak tau dia keluar ke tak, dah sikit jer kan. mana ada let down reflex pun lagi masa ni. But she seems to be enjoying it, latching dengan sangat expert nye. And dia cranky sikit sebab sejuk kot bilik tu. So aku peluk dia, terus senyap and tido sampai esok. My husband? balik bilik jer terus tidur tak sedar apa apa. haha. penat ok melayan bini dia beranak.

There are a lot of differences from my first birth, good and bad differences. Tapi I would say this time around I'm really proud of myself for not giving in for epidural. banyak sangat perbezaan baby epidural and natural baby ni. I save it for the next post. And yup that pretty much sums up my birth story. Fatimah Azzahra, you are one easy baby to deliver. I love you kiddo.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013


aku tgh buat keje office yang pending since last week. Anas and Fatimah were both sleeping. DH downstairs with his game. oh heck he has his games and I have my hipster mama thing. ok sudah tergelincir dari topik. It was around 1.45am. Then tiba tiba boleh Anas Imran mengigau "nak boat nak boat" aku ingat takat tuh ja, tiba tiba dia bangun, "nak boat". aku nak gelak pun kesian. aku cam suh ja dia tido balik. dia macam blur gila.

nih sah sah ikut perangai aku. suka ckp dlm tidur. bangun macam tuh pun aku pernah. bukan takat bangun jer, aku panjat orang tidur sebelah aku, end up in the other side. haa ko mampu? kannn. pastuh aku dok kutuk-kutuk Fatimah tidur lesak. orang Kelantan panggil tidur buas. semua ikut perangai aku. aku dah cakap dah, gene aku ni kuat, itu yang perangai aku lebih. haha ftw lah. nah tgk budak kecik 2 bulan ni tidur macam mana? kurang sopan kan?

Monday, January 7, 2013

babywearing journal #4: wrap heaven!

now that the little squish is out. I'm officially a wrap mama. Anas pun dah kureng dah naik Kinderpack. last weekend pergi Queensbay nak cari sport shoes for Anas sebab dia suka main bola, easier for him to run around kot kalau ada sport shoes. Dia mintak susu, "mama nak susu, nak minum susu peluk mama." budak ni takat ada adik ni, semua nak berkepit ngan mak je. kesian jugak kat dia, dia dulu aku breastfeed until about 4 months je, then susu kering, dia memang minum campur bm + fm dari first day lagi. kesian weh, dia tengok adik dia minum from my boobs, sayu je. dia refer to my boobs as susu adik Timah now. Dia pun nak minum susu adik Timah jugak. sadddd. I was cluesless back then ok. then now dengan Fatimah baru la exclusive breastfeed until now. which im having problem with bottle feeding pulak with her, now that i'm back to work. that is another story.

ha to continue the story, i told him, "nak naik belakang mama pakai elephant(referring to my Didymos India wrap) tak?" dia terus hangguk. piggyback dengan senang hati nye. suka pulak tuh. and aku boleh masuk Toysrus dengan senang hati. muahahaha. tidak perlu kejar dia lagi. sebelum tuh his abah wore him in Kinderpack, dok tak sampai 5 minit, takmo, sebab cannot high back carry maa. dia nampak blkg abah dia ja. kalau carry pakai wrap nun kepala dia sama level dgn kepala aku. so memang macam piggy ride la. tuh yang dia suka. no turning back dah orang kata. So misi aku adalah to hoard more wraps, and let go of the SSCs and Mei Tais.

Nah action pics as of now. later i'll blog more. newbie maa, wrapping sloppy tahap cipan. hahaha.