Tuesday, April 10, 2012

and then it hit me..

yup, another baby. a real kicking and pooping and tit sucking baby.

sebelum ni macam hmm tak ada perasaan, tak ada perasaan hey saya tidak keseorangan ada seorang manusia di dalam perut saya. manusia yang hidup dan menendang. mungkin sebab perut masih penuh dengan lemak. entah.

sebenarnya masa check-up at 10weeks, bila scan baby tak gerak, at all. duduk senyap. tapi the heartbeat strong. tapi since the first baby, everytime scan sure baby at least jumping jumping sikit, walaupun tecik tahap. i mean ye la 10 weeks kan dah ada stubs of hands and kaki, so anas sebelum ni die melompat lompat jer at 10 weeks. maybe the baby asleep kot masa tuh.. tapi static tahap i tell you, so doktor tgk pon macam risau tuh yg terus bagi aku duphaston. aku pon tak rasa macam oh betul la nak ada baby baru ni.. betul ni nak ada baby baru ni.. ha takdak perasaan itu. sebab aku risau gilaaaaaaa takut bende yang tak diingini terjadi. serious. aku taknak keciwa by expecting too much.

maka, semalam bila gi check at 12 weeks, and the baby all happily kicking and punching and bouncing, maka masa tuh baru la it hit me! yes! im going to have another kid. sangat indah masa tgk dia first time kicking. *auw*

and Encik Tupai pun kebetulan ada, dia pon macam eh dah besar ni ke? eh dah cukup sifat ke? ehh dah tumbuk2 ke? dia lagi blur. sebenanya dah berapa bulan eh? *laki aku memang always blur*

anddd satu lagi yang buat aku tak boleh tidur is, i bought a wrap from local fsot. oh my oh my. aku tak sabar gila nk try wrap! cepat la cepat la. sebab wrap ada wrapping yg tak tekan perut unlike ssc. oh tak sabar.. lagi la sekarang itu budak flu and demam. makin suka di pakai. ooohh mak boleh lepas giannnn..

Monday, April 9, 2012

1st trimester is over!

Alhamdulillah!

Ya ALLAH, every 1st trimester adalah the darkest period of my life. ever. the same for both pregnancy. the first pregnancy yes the morning sickness is worst or should i say all day sickness? tapi the emotion is stable, I tak hormonal mana, i guess because of the constant throwing up, you just don't care about being hormonal any more. all you want is for the vomitting to stop, and for you to be able to eat like normal again. tapi masalahnya, the second one, was a chaotic hormonal disaster. morning sickness? check, hormonal? check, constant headache? check, unable to think rationally which leads to unable to perform at work? check! oh my. oh my.

dah la bleed. Anas with his separation anxiety nya. saya dengan sindrom taknak Anas rasa left out nya, which in turns makes it even worst. Anas tak nak tidur dengan orang lain, must have mama beside him, must have mama's hand as his pillow, mama must make his morning milk, mama has to be there when he wakes up every time. kalau tak dia punya meraung.. ya ALLAH.

maka. macam mak mandir la jadi nya. keadaan rumah? Subhanallah.. my limit is everyday kena buang sampah pampers Anas and the house doesnt smell weird, that's it. lantai sticky tahap, dapur sticky tahap, unwash dishes, unwash clothes, bilik berhabuk tahap. asal nk vacuum jer mengah, lepas membasuh pinggan je mengah. ya ALLAH. semua trivial thing rasa macam susah sgt nak buat. by 8.30pm that's it, kalau tak baring lagi, udah sure muntah and pening kepala.

let's just hope this will be over in 1 month time. at least the first pregnancy did. dah penat whining. saya tak reti nk whining in real life, so boleh lepas kat sini je. in real life, i know other people kena lagi teruk, so senyap jer la. Tapi here, this is my space to rant out my thoughts. so what the hell?