Thursday, December 15, 2011

organize! : where it all started #1

rumah aku bersepah tahap sekarang ni. maksud bersepah aku bukan nya ruang tamu dah tak nmpk mcm ruang tamu. rumah masih ok, nmpk mcm rumah la, tapi sepah yang tahap, bila laki aku tanya "nan, baju melayu saya yg maroon tu mana?" mampos aku tak tau aku stash kat mana. ada la kot dlm bakul laundry kering yg tk lipat lipat lagi tak pon dlm almari baju. hmm tapi naya jugak la nk cari dalam lemari baju tuh. baju tinggi bagai gunung.

aku ni jenis tak suka tgk rumah sepah, tapi aku tak suka mengemas, jadi solution aku ialah sorok all those barang asalkan mata aku tak nampak. hakhakhak... pemalas!

dulu masa tak ada anak, boleh la aku spent 10 - 15 minit cari barang, tapi sekarang dah ada anak yg baru ada kaki, mana dan nye nak mencari. pastuh pulak sekarang ni aku tgh addict dgn pinterest, jadi bila tgk orang dok organize rumah bes-bes, aku pon teringat la dekat rumah aku dulu, organized gila ok, mak bapak aku memang organize-freak pon. jadi aku pon mula la berangan-rangan nak start organize kan rumah aku.

so mula-mula aku start dengan mencari ilham, so berejam-rejam la habiskan masa di pinterest, lepas tuh aku ada baca satu quote ni something like there is no point in reading to the moon if you don't make anything out of what you read. aku lupa dah exact ayat dia, tapi maksud nya sama. so aku pon terasa la. dok browse saja, tapi almari baju aku bersepah lagu tuh jugak, tadak perubahan langsung.

so i take some notes from the best organizing ideas, balik dari kerja semalam aku nekad pergi hardware store, beli storage baskets!!! aku beli hak murah murah ja, plastik bodoh ja, 4 ringgit satu yg besar punya, so later if I have eyesore from the hideous plastic basket, i just glued some cute fabric on it.

oh i have broken the organize project according to rooms, so i'll start with master bedroom first. and within the room i'll further broke it down to sections. sebab nya i dont have all day to do this, I only have about ~3hours to do it, after tucking in Anas's to bed to tucking in myself to bed.

mintak mintak la berpanjangan semangat ni jangan nak dok hangat hangat taik ayam ja.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

it made you think..

how pathetic is it that you bought flowers for yourself?

or go on a movie marathon of your favorite romance movies of all time on your own?










oh did i mentioned that you did all of that on your birthday?

such a loser huh?

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

cold feet

aku ingat lagi, malam before aku akad nikah, i was a nervous wreck. bukan takat cold feet segala mak nenek pon sejuk ok. eventhough aku penat gila gila gila, kerja kahwin byk kena buat ok tapi..

A lot of things came to my mind, masa decide nak kahwin dulu, these things already occurred to me tapi rasa macam alah tak ada apa lah, i am ready.tapi bila dah memang nak kahwin betul-betul ha hamik kau.

is he the one? ke aku dah silap pilih? aku nih muda lagi, macam mana dengan my-non-existence career? macam mana kalau nanti lepas kahwin gaduh tahap gaban, dah tak ada way out, boleh ke aku sabar, boleh ke aku jaga orang lain diri sendiri pon tak terjaga. oooooooo maiiiiiii gawddddddddddddddddddddddd... can i back out now???????

haa kan terbayang cerita runaway bride kauuu.. baru tahu kan perasaan itu. memang taik gila lah perasaan malam tuh. tak ada sekelumit pon happiness kau. dah terbayang bayang dah tanggungjawab bagai, dosa yg aku dah tau sure dapat nya. memang otak aku taleh stop pikir langsung. the responsibilities keeps on running through my mind. gilaaaaaaaaa takutttttt.

and then bila aku dah tahap nk muntah punya takut, macam sign from Tuhan, Tupai called (kol 3 pagi before akad esok pagi okkay!), tanya pasal hantaran whatever, bila dengar suara dia je segala tok nenek kerisauan hilang, tiba tiba rasa tenang ja hati.
Lepas ja cakap ngn dia, aku terus tidur. haa itu lah dinamakan jodoh. haha. poyo.

maka Panda Eyes lah aku pada hari pernikahan aku. padan muka.

tak sebenarnya aku dengki gila dengan bride yang boleh tidur dengan sempurna malam before nikah. seriously? you girls dont even have even a tiny bit of cold feet? tipuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!! aku tengok semua orang macam oh tak sabarnya nak jadi isteri si dia... oh gembira, oh bertuahnya diri ku, oh sungguh bahagia esok hari bahagia ku.. better get my beauty sleep because tomorrow's my big day.

tapi kenapa tidak aku? dang! itu nama nya sebab aku always ted'up about stuff. tapi betul. ko ingat kawin ni main-main ke? you are no longer who you are after marriage ok, your whole freaking life will shift into a new dimension. new responsibilities, new family, new friends..

kesimpulan nya, yang aku belajar is, wedding is just a one day event, but marriage is forever. gives your best effort in preparing for the rest of your life, rather then ted'up about a one day event. oleh itu jangan la buat loan untuk majlis kahwin, nanti lepas kahwin gaduh pasal loan payment and bills.

apa kaitan? foobar.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

18 months gestation

aku dulu babywearer yang tegar juga lah. Iaitu sebelum Anas mencapai 10kg atau 9 bulan. Selepas itu aku stop takut belikat aku terkehel. aku start tahu pasal baby wearing bila aku research pasal how to naturally stimulate baby's growth yada yada yada, you got my drift kan. that is where i stumbled upon babywearing's benefits.

it says(some research done by the late Ashley Montagu) that baby's gestation sebenarnya ialah 18 bulan. 9 months inside mommy's womb and 9 months outside. so part 9 bulan dekat luar rahim tuh ialah masa baby nak adapt kepada dunia, in stages. so the baby perlukan the familiarity that he has in womb, so that dia rasa secure. sebab bagi baby kecik, dunia ni sungguh la ngeri. it still is for me. so the security lies with his mommy. die punye heartbeat, rentak mak dia berjalan, suara mak dia, everything soothes him, something that he's familiar with masa dalam rahim. And also he learns about real life first hands, dia tengok mak dia basuh baju, basuh pinggan, mop lantai segala, so he is exposed to real life awal-awal.

So they say that baby yg selalau dipakai (digendong), wont be colicky dan meragam. For me, aku setuju, memang aku tengok baby yang mak dia suka dukung, tak biar baby tergolek golek nangis dalam cot sorang-sorang, breastfeed, kurang sikit meragam dia dan baby gendongan ni semuanya happy baby.

no my point here is, aku tinggal anak aku betul-betul masa dia masuk 9 bulan. bila aku balik dia dah 10bulan. MasyaALLAH, berbeza sangat dia. sebelum aku tinggal, he's still a baby, memang dah boleh merangkak dan cruising bagai juara, tapi personality wise dia masih lagi baby. Bila dah balik, ha kamu, dah boleh nampak character dia as a full grown human, dia dah paham what we want from him, he's no longer needy, he knows what he wants, he loves to explore, he has wonderful memory, and he's independent of some sort. macam dalam sebulan perubahan yang sungguh besar.

So rumusan aku adalah theory 18bulan gestation ini sangat la aku setuju. sebab aku nampak sangat perubahan before 9 bulan and after 9 bulan Anas. Tuhan maha kaya, semua Dia buat sungguh sempurna.

first steps!

Dari aku kecik lagi dah aku dah berangan rangan dah witnessing anak aku punya first steps. anak aku dalam angan-angan mesti muka mat saleh abis, macam budak-budak dalam iklan osh kosh dekat majalah dahulu kala. Aku dulu punya la obsess dengan budak osh kosh tuh, tempek iklan oshkosh tuh dekat buku nota lagi ok. haih. itu belum cerita aku simpan gambar Man Bai masa aku umur 5 tahun. hebat jugak la taste aku dulu ye dak?

so cerita nya.

I WITNESSED IMRAN'S FIRST STEPS TODAY!!

aku tengah goreng char keow teow dekat dapur, tetibe Tupai jerit panggil aku, apa kena? aku hungga la ke depan takut si budak tuh luka ke ape kan.. sekali si Anas tgh dok jalan terhuyung hayang. jauh la jugak nyah die jalan.. ada lah dlm 6 7 steps, lepas tuh malas terus turun merangkak. cettttt tak sempat sambar kamera.

Lepas tuh sepanjang hari ni aku paksa dia tatih..tapi sepanjang hari jugak la, dia jalan satu steps terus turun merangkak. haha dasar pemalas macam mak dia jugak.

perasaan bangga tak payah nak cerita lah. bangga gila! nasib baik char keow teow ade atas dapur, kalau tak mahu bercucuran turun air mata ok.

the bliss of technology



ni lah teknologi at its best. berguna. rasa macam anak beranak duduk satu bilik, walaupun berjauhan berjuta miles away. abaikan kekurangan kesopanan dari suami ku.

on a geek note: personally i think Facetime is much better than Skype. it's just my preferences. Skype sometimes lags, but not Facetime.

Friday, November 11, 2011

random #3

you know what's sad?

when you think you're happy, but you're practically stalking your ex or your other half's ex like a vulture.

that is what I called, insecurity.

Friday, October 28, 2011

selfish people annoys me

aku tengah bengang dengan seorang manusia ini. dia sgt la kiamsiap. nk pakai dermalogica product, tapi sungguh kiamsiap tanak beli dekat Malaysia, mahal kata nya. dan dan ada business trip pergi US, mula la nak order berjuta di Amazon.

Itu takpa. aku pun buat perkara sama. tapi manusia ini tak reti nak agak agak, dah tahu kan ada chances thay she will shorten her trip, agak-agak la, dah tahu kamu tuh nk balik awal, tak payah la nak order last minute. dah la dasar tak reti nak tgk berapa lama the shipment took and what's the worst case scenario, dia main orderrr jer. SAVE duit kata nya.

dan dan her last shipment sampai after she dah balik ke Penang. since we both stayed at the same hotel, maka aku lah menjadi Mak Lampir nye, so the shipment supposed to be routed to me. maka aku pon tunggu jer la shipment tuh muncul dlm bilik aku. tapi tak jugak muncul-muncul.

minah tuh dah cuak dah. shipment company kata dah hantar. tapi barang nya tak jugak sampai. 5x kamu sehari dia pm aku tanya. mintak aku tanya front desk. aku dah tanya front desk kata nya tak ada pun shipment tuh. kira tanggungjawab aku dah setel. minah tuh pulak siap suruh aku marah marah lagi front desk. suruh naik suara siap. mintak threaten them. kamu ni budak kecik ke kalau tak dapat apa kamu nak kamu marah marah nak ugut orang?

apa masalah awak? itu problem shipment awak, dan dan aku pulak kena pergi marah marah for you? who are you??? I'm not a freaking PAWN for you to use. Kalau kau nak sangat marah marah orang, kamu sendiri la call. saya dekat Malaysia tak boleh call US katanya, pakai la Skype, Cik kak. aku just cakap im sorry but i have to go to work early in the morning and came back really late, so i dont have time to go and harass the manager for you.

tahu ko tensen barang kau hilang. aku phm. tapi ada proper channel yang kamu boleh guna dimana tidak akan menyusahkan orang lain.

lepas aku buat bolayan dekat dia. maka dia pun ambil inisiatif email komplen kepada manager hotel panjang lebar dengan font bold size 14 kaler merah. :)

balik kerja esok dan dan shipment itu tersengih atas meja study aku. kan? kalau dari awal kamu hantar email, tak ada la kamu perlu menyusahkan orang di sekeliling kamu.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

apabila aku drive

aku bangga tahap la dgn diri sendiri. wahahaha.

aku kan bodoh-bodoh sikit driving ni. mula mula datang Penang aku tak penah drive ever. Lesen memang buat pekasam ja. datang-datang penang dah kena drive. dah la aku dok di tempat paling jem di bumi pulau pinang. ok aku tipu. tapi memang congested lah the place.

and lepas tu aku accident sekali. tobat jantung terhenti sekejap. dan dalam beberapa saat accident tu jadi, semuanya jadi slow motion, terasa dunia di slow mo kan, aku mcm nk tekan break, tapi isyarat tuh lambat sampai ke otak, tahu tahu dah terlanggar kereta depan.

selepas itu accident aku bertukar menjadi pemandu yg berhemah. tapi Penang style. so you know what i mean. So when I come here, aku datang seorang seorang dari department aku, and aku segan la kan nk tumpang orang yg aku baru kenal everyday.

so the first week, aku macam nak familiarize dgn jalan dan peraturan nya. cuak la jugak nak drive di belah kiri. Aku luahkan la perasaan dekat colleague aku yg selalu travel, dia cakap senang je nak drive, ko kene selalu ingat, line kuning akan sentiasa di belah kiri. always. and watch out for road signs. Stop means stop. even tak ada kereta. WAJIB. so sepanjang aku ada kat sini, aku menjadi pemandu berhemah!

tetapi hanya di 2 minggu yang pertama. selepas itu, tanduk penang aku naik balik. haha. dan dan kena hon panjang dengan driver sini. then reality hits. oops. sorry. haha.Colleague aku baru sampai Austin, bila turn aku drive for lunch or dinner, sure dia marah, "Najwa SLOW DOWN, Najwa CAREFUL!". setiap kali aku nak drive balik hotel aku sure dia membebel dulu.

maka aku pun menjadi seorang pemandu berhemah. semoga tabiat ini melekat sehingga bila bila. Amin.

anak kau masuk hospital?

aku datang sini jumpa ngn sorang mamat ni, budak company aku jugak tapi different department, budak melayu la. ada dia senang la sikit aku nk cari mknn halal. ada geng.

tadi masa pergi lunch ramai-ramai, makan sushi, dia cakap dia nk shorten his trip, sebab anak-anak dia masuk hospital.

aku mcm "haaaaaaaa? anak-anak kau dua dua masuk hospital?" kalau la anak aku? (mintak tuhan jauh la) pengsan~

kau gilaaaaaa.. anak warded, dia boleh lagi datang kerja. nyah bukan nya office dia stgh jam dari rumah weii.. office dia berjuta juta km away from home. kalau aku la, tang tuh jugak aku bgtau bos aku, aku nak balik tang ni jugak.

tapi tuh la tak kena dekat aku.. sedap la kan mulut dok ckp itu ini. dah kene batang idung sendiri. baru tahu.

Friday, October 7, 2011

unexpected

previous entry aku cakap aku tak nak travel. macam macam mana pun aku akan tai chi dekat orang lain. sekarang ni ha amik kau, boss aku kata, Najwa by hook or by crook you have to travel. maka aku pun terima la dengan hati tertutup. mcm *%&* i tell you.

aku ada anak weiii.. anak aku baru 9 bulan.. panggil mama pon tak reti lagi. kau nak aku travel. aku sorang-sorang pulak tuh dari department aku. udah la aku tak pernah pernah travel jauh. aku kan orang kampung. miskin pulak tuh. nak pergi KL pon buat kira-kira duit pakai excel sheet kamu. ni nak travel jauh-jauh.

Udah la baru lepas Raya, mana ada duit wehhh, hutang keliling pinggang.

memang la deparment sponsor, tapi aku kena pakai duit aku dulu baru boleh claim. tak apa la pasal duit tuh, aku boleh pakai credit card.

anak aku macam mana? aku ni dengan malu tahap dewa, pergi la melanguk dekat mak aku mintak jaga anak aku. dan dan pulak la abang ipar aku pun kena travel jugak. at the same time pulak tuh. so mak aku kena jaga anak saudara aku. aku pun dengan malu tahap nya pegi la pulak melanguk dekat mak mertua aku, mintak tolong jaga anak aku. nasib baik kau mak mertua aku baik tahap maha dewa. maka semuanya berjalan dengan lancar.

persiapan nk pergi aku tak sempat nk buat sgt. kes nya, anak aku kena chicken pox. punya la resah hati mak kan. 2 minggu lepas tuh terus ok. aku pun fly lmbt seminggu. aku ingat boleh cancel kan jer trip. rupa rupanya tidak. demit.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

A choice well made

I used to be a feminist. I always strive to be the best. And then. I have a baby.

Im only 25, a very young age to have a baby i must admit, im struggling to meet my life long dream of having a career that i can be proud of. Ashamedly, i was torn in between. At one point, i have traces of regrets and thousands of what-ifs just waterfall out of no where.

I have no one to turn too, i was too shameful to admit to anyone that i dare to even consider career over my baby boy. I was given not 1 but 3 chances of travelling to work with my counterparts on the other side of the globe. Travel equals to career growth. Not just that, travelling will open up my eyes and change my perspective towards life.

But i dare not go. I dare not think of him crying, searching for his mom when he wakes up at night. I dare not leave him for night, let alone for a month! yes i will leave him at a very capable hands,my mom. And yet, i felt like a coward for being so protective, and there are times that i really consider to accept the offer. But i was too vain. Afraid of what other might think of me. Leaving a 6 month old baby behind for career.

I was quite torn apart, until i stumble upon an article about work and family. It says that opportunities will come and go, but your baby will never grew up twice. If i had accepted the offer, i would have miss his first commando crawl, his first teething experience, how he started to learn how to sit on his own and be an expert about it he did a stunt by swiftly in one step, move from crawling position to sitting position. I swear i was so full with pride, when he lean over the couch and pull himself up for the first time.

And i can't wait to witness his first step.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Teething is no fun

Imran has his first pair of teeth last week. And it took sbout 3 weeks of teething process.

And it sucks.

He caught a cold and runny nose. And a massive diarhea to top it off. We have to switch him to lactose free formula but we reckon only until his stomach gets better. Lactose free formula causes 100 ringgit per tin demit. Which will last less than 2 weeks!! Its not that he is intolerent to lactose, it's just for the time being.. Let his stomach settle down. Thinking to switch to snow or enfagrow. Hmm..

Oh and i caught on his cold, it has evolved to be a terrible cold,cough and fever. Trifecta ftw. It got me down for a week. And it was the first week of ramadhan. Kesian encik tupai bini tak masak langsung.

But honest to God, taking care of a baby is much much more tiring than being 9months pregnant with swollen feet. I managed to cook for iftar and sahur when i was pregnant, but now? *surrender*

Friday, August 5, 2011

Tricks and tips in handling baby's stuffy nose

Anas is one stubborn baby. When he doesnt like something he will let the whole world knows about it. Screaming and kicking. He gets that from me.

And he hates stuffy nose.

"blow your nose anas, like this hghhhhh,hggghhhh" nothing happen. Mak bapak dia ingat anak diorg clark kent ke apa reti blow his own nose at 7 months old? Anyhow, our paedi is one of those paedi that doesnt like to give drugs to babies(that's why we love her), she insisted to let his immune system do the healing instead. And siapa yang terseksa.. Mak bapak dia juga...

All we can do is to make things comfortable for him. The doctor gave us a nasal seawater spray that supposed to clean up his airways, susah tahap gaban nk pakai benda alah sea water what sheet itu. Last-last free free kena baling ke dinding oleh encik tupai. Kaput.

And the nasal aspirator, the ballon suction thingy doesnt work for us, anas wont let us near him with that thing. Literally kicking and screaming and rolling around and crawling away. So bought the one where we have to suck it on our own. It works. Kaedah nya perlu hisap seperti kamu mkn siput sedut. Yup with the toungue.

So we do our fair share of googgling on how to handle this especially for bed time, we tried every trick and we found the perfect tricks! *yeah bebehh yeah!* certified working!!

1. Get him out of the house, maybe for a evening walk. give him some fresh air.

2. Let your hot shower running at max temp.and make sure your bathroom is steaming. If your mirror is all fogged up then it's good to go. Get your baby in the bathroom for about 6-8 minutes. The steam will clear his airways naturally. This works for adults too. I can vouch for that.

3. Gve your baby a massage, lather him up in johnson and johnson bedtime lotion, this lotion does help baby to sleep better.

4. Put some ointment( minyak telon is wunderbar for us) on his soles and at the back of his calves and also some under his knees. Also on his stomach, and wee bit on his chest.

5. Carry your baby in upright position and tummy to tummy. Your heartbeat keeps your baby secured and upright position clears up his airways.


After step 5, anas would be sound asleep, and when we tuck him in, we elevated his Chest and his head with a huge pillow. It helps him to sleep better with his nose and chest higher than his whole body.

No more crying at night!! He even smiled when he woke up for his midnight feeding. Haaaa the bliss of google.

Friday, May 6, 2011

disses #2

ok so here i was this morning driving happily to work, i just turn in to my "office"'s car park, and then some kiasu konon kononnya vogue lady with a big lalat shades on suddenly just overtook me (she actually overtook me in the carpark area!! AND she stepped on the gas some more!) on my left. being a good girl that i am thought "kesian dia, dah lambat nk gi meeting kol 9 agak nya".

in the end she parked on the same lane as i do, and there's plenty of spaces left. like PLENTY!! i dilly dallied a bit so that i don't have to walk side by side with her, when i get out of my car i thought she would be long gone, instead she just got out of her car!! there she was smiling sheepishly. tahu malu la pulak. *hoh*

and the worst part is.. she walk superrrrrrr slowly while talking on her phone, holding her opened-up laptop, giggling around. in the end i reached the office wayyy earlier then she did. well obviously she's not catching any meetings.

so why the bitchiness? again. patience is a virtue.

kisses #1

aku sukaaaa tesco sekarang.. if you stand behind the green line we will open up a new counter for you. wooooooooahhh.. at first i thought nahhh just another marketing strategy that will never becomes reality. tetapi i was so wrong! mereka siap ada traffic controller, they called it queue controller. in your face makcik kiasu konon-konon nak cepat potong queue, in the end, i paid first! patience is the virtue makcik!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

disses #1

#1: cheap people are wusses. okay fine you earn about 4k monthly, that may not be much, but you're single and renting with bunch of your friends. and you don't even give much to your parents. but you complaint a lot when people bring you to a slightly decent place(not really expensive for your salary!!) for a self paid colleague farewell dinner. *urghhhhh*

#2: just because you're freshly out of uni with a master's degree, doesn't give you the license to belittle your other bachelor degree colleagues, for all it matters, they have more working experience than you do! less talk, more work. you got credential from your work, not your talk.



Tuesday, May 3, 2011

random thoughts #2

#1 : Bon jovi makes my belly becomes jelly. :) i'm a cowboy, on a steel horse i ride, i wanted.. dead or alive... *saliva*

#2: my in laws starting to point out how easy wives nowadays get away with things. they are working wives too and able to multitask like nobody's business. kaboom! well they are the real definition of superwoman.. oh heck, najwa has to start cooking again.

#3: postpartum hair loss is killing me! sini rambut, sana rambut. everywhere rambut. we're talking about A LOT! ish. oh orang tua kata sebab baby main air liur. boleh? tapi memang Anas suka main air liur pon now.


random thoughts #1

frogurt is my new favorite treat. goodbye haagen dazs.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

the Juno story

on the 19th Dec, aku bleed. byk. orang tua kata tuh ketuban darah.. ketuban darah ni sakit dan lama labor pain nya. so long story short, kena la admit to KBMC, turns out air ketuban saya pula sikit, so have to induce dilation. so off to the labor room lah nak masukkan ubat utk induce.

Even though some stranger just prod into my birth canal with that plastic surgery glove on to put some slimy liquid that supposed to make me dilate faster, i felt just fine. no rush. not panicking. just calm. breathing in and breathing out.

and then suddenly i was alone. doctor aku went off to another patient, mak aku pulak ke toilet.

dan dan tuh jugak la patient kat labor room sebelah nak beranak. at first aku dengar misi-misi bising, "push nadia, push nadia" nadia adalah bukan nama sebenar. thennnnn..

"arghhhhhh" " sakittttttttttttt" si nadia tuh jerit dgn sangat amat gilaaaaaaaa kuat!!!!!!! dan byk lagi jeritan lain.

aku terus pucat lesi. pucat gila. darah aku naik 140/90. tak tipuuuuu... serius takut gilaaaaa..

dari konon-konon tak nak opt for epidural terus nak. kalau boleh dan-dan tuh juga nak. mmg jenis tak sedar diri, kita baru dilate 1cm. LOL.

anyway, about si nadia. I heard from the staff that she's actually 14 (aku tak tanya pon memang diorg yg dtg bergossip), and she will give the baby up for adoption. ramai-ramai orang tunggu di luar labor room tuh turns out to be family yg nk adopt baby tuh la. so ni memang real life classic Juno story.

aku kagum jugak dengan si Nadia tuh, dia brave enough to come clean dengan family dia, dan family dia pon sangat bagus untuk accept things and rational enough utk cari orang utk adopt baby yg tak bersalah tuh. ayah baby tuh pon bertanggungjawab, siap datang masuk labor room lagi.

she's just 14! she made a lot of bad decision, tapi bagi aku 14 tahun adalah terlampau budak, dulu aku tak tahu apa-apa pon kot, udah baru 2 tahun akil baligh. haha.my point being, kalau budak 14 tahun boleh buat good decision macam ni, kenapa masih ramai budak-budak lain yang tak ada la budak sangat, boleh buang baby merata-rata?

Nadia tuh, foster family yang tanggung medical expanse dia, private hospital lagi akak oi. ada certified doctor handle delivery dari deliver dalam toilet sorang-sorang. kalau pecah darah tak ke naye. and the best part is you can sleep well at night knowing your baby is safe.

sebenarnya banyak je choices yg elok. it is never too late. tapi kalau dah jahil.



Monday, January 17, 2011

the day i peed on a stick

aku ingat lagi first time period lepas nikah, exactly 1 week after nikah. 26th March 2010. aku rasa down. a little bit. seriously i was perplexed, why would i feel that way when i have no plan whatsoever to have a kid this early.

haha. rupanya hati kecilku mahukan little andika secepat mungkin. kihkih..

5 weeks after nikah, kawan-kawan Zagreb dtg melawat kami di Penang. Maka kami pon ke Feringgi utk bermandi manda. kawan Zagreb seorang ni, let's call him Abu, adalah seorang smoker tegar, i ride in the same car with abu and abu smelt like cigaratte butt, that makes the car smelt like ashtray. aku dah mula pening-pening, tapi itu normal sbb aku memang allergi dengan rokok.

maka berjalan-jalan la kami die tepian pantai, bersama kawan-kawan Zagrib yg memamg tidak seberapa betul lepas main wii boxing smp lebam. parking bontot saja di atas pasir mulus feringgi, pening tadi datang lagi, this time it's full blown. Makan panadol actifast dan tidur la saya di pantai ferringgi.

selepas matahari terbenam, abang-abang kuda mula lah membuat quick sales, "adik nak naik kuda, 6 ringgit jer dik. biasanya 10 ringgit, utk adik abang bg 6 ringgit ja". aku sgt amat nakkkkkk sgt naik. tak tau la kenapa, hari tuh aku rasa haiwan yg plg cantik ialah kuda. muscle reflex bile die gerak, fuhhh sexy habis. and mata dia, ekor nya, everything about horse attracts me like crazy that day.

ade Zagreb tanya, nak tak, aku mcm ish dah lambat, maghrib dah ha. let's just balik. mak aku pesan jgn main dekat luar maghrib-maghrib. hmm.

perjalanan pulang memang menyeksakan. sbb sakit kepala kembali sampai berdenyut2, tak boleh bkk mata. they all were arguing on where to have dinner, and i was restraining myself from throwing up. and i told Zagreb to just drop me back home first. masuk rumah aja i head straight to the bathroom, semua isi perut dari breakfast sampai la tea time semua nya keluar balik. the next day, pening dan sakit kepala tuh masih ada, and i lost my appetite to eat. so i spent the whole day tidur.oh its pretty normal since my period is due in just a few days. PMS la tuh. nothing new there.

on Monday, my mom call, aku tgh mandi and zagreb answered, die accidentally mentioned pasal aku pening kepala the weekend before, and my mom was sooo excited, thinking she's going to have another grandchild soon. cet. so she keeps on pushing me to go and do the test. i was like no mom its just my PMS. and she kept calling me everyday after that asking "so did you have your period yet?" "erm not yet" "dah lekat la tuh, bawak-bawak la pegi checkup". sheesshhh.

2 weeks after, still no period. aku mula cuak. and all the what-ifs questions flooding my mind. Happy tuh memang la sangat, tapi dah risau pasal tanggungjawab as a mother. am i ready? seriously mixed emotions gila.

so went to buy pregnancy test, i bought the most expensive one there is blue apa dah brand dia, sebab takut nnt false positive. kihkih. first time i peed on a stick. pelik gila. since its the high end test kit, it took only 5 sec for the result. positive. false positive kot! nasib baik i bought the twin package, so ade lagi satu test kit. few days afterwards i peed again on the stick, and still positive. what are the odds kan?

turns out i was 6 weeks pregnant and the beginning of the hellish morning sickness that is actually an all-day-sickness. hands down it is the most excruciating 3 months of my life. :D

p/s: agak-agak kalau aku naik la kuda yg abang-abang kuda tuh promote, will the test still be positive? Kalau dah takdir kan.